Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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