omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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