My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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