can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
