I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
