So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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