i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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