i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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