The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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