is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
