community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
