he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
