My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
