I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
