A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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