You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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