This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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