Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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