I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
