Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just pynch a tree in the face
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Mom said you looked used
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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