how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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