And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
