if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
