i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
