I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
