My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
