The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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