Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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