I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
