I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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