If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
