the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
