erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
