Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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