I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
