Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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