well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
