He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
