he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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