even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
