Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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