Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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