GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
