listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
