I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
A bitchslap is in order.
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