shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
