Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
