Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
