A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
