Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
