Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
