Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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