I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
