to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
