You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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